Let me have one last moment of clarification

Okay, here's the final one. After this, I'm done with this bullshit. But, there are a few loose ends still needing some tying. So, here goes.

1) Okay, yes, I went to a strip club. One. Uno. Un. (read: one: singular). I went there for a friend. Here's how this goes. My friend went to Washington, D.C. (lovely city, apparently it's the capitol). He went to a strip club (his first). He walked in the door and he was the only white guy in there (No, this is not a racist comment. It is a demographical fact. I am not racist but that does not exclude the occasional african american individual from having said vice). A trio of said individuals all stood up and glared him down like he had just walked in wearing a white hood (which incidentally, he doesn't own as he also grew up in a racially diverse neighborhood, kinda like me, hmmm...in Little Rock. My first friend was different racially speaking and I don't recall him creating a stigma. Strange.) He then got charged 5 bucks for a shot glass full of Coca Cola. He came back and made a comment that his strip club experience was a bit unpleasant. I sought to remedy this. I am not saying I like strip clubs. What I am saying is that they pay their dancers well and frankly, these ones seemed to be treated pretty well. They're people too. So, I took him to one here in San Diego. We stayed about thirty minutes. The music was good. The atmosphere was mostly military. I spent a good chunk of the time in the bathroom taking a dump, if you must know. We left, and his night was made. Now, before we go off talking about how my friend is obviously a pervert, let me simply say that this is very much not true. It's simply a case of wanting to go to one once just to see what it was all about. It's called curiosity. So, really, it's been overdramatized in an effort to discredit me...wow, with my fiance.

2. Candy is not a pushover. I don't care about the past. The past is past. (before you drag out my journal entry, dear librarian, please remember that these are journals and we write what it is we think about, so, sentimentality is normal.) She does what she wants. Free of my say. I don't want to control her life. I want to share it. I want to be a part of it. You whining that you don't get enough time with her is ludicrous. I see her once ever three months if I'm lucky. Yeah yeah, it was my choice. One I made before I was with her. She is treated very well with me and I think you should reacknowledge that fact, b/c strangely enough, it's the truth. She thinks so. Her family thinks so. Everyone I know thinks so. And oddly enough I don't have time to cheat on her. I think the girls would get pissed at me calling her so often. But, hey, you know...maybe I'm just really good at my timing. Maybe I'm a sleazeball navy sailor with no morals. Just remember who guards this country and gives you the ability to write slanderous journal entries on the internet. And let's not forget how many sailors died this year. I admit, not as many as soldiers, but we put our lives in danger every time we put on a uniform. Not just from foreign enemies, but also from domestic ones who still don't get it.

3) You sit and tell me that this is the only option I had. Not true. I had many. I chose this one. You sit and tell me that I am doing nothing great with my life. I love Candy, and that is great. I am serving my country, and that is great. I am preparing a future, and that is great. I have done more for my country than you have. Or are you more loyal to the Fatherland? Since we sailors obviously are good for nothing more than an occasional overseas screw, whatever can this country be worth? Dear me, I hope you caught that sarcasm. Perhaps one day, when it is all over, I might enlighten you to what we men and women go through. For now, I won't waste my time on you, hopeful expatriot. And on that subject: what is in your future? Have you cured cancer? Have you rescued any orphans lately? Do you do charity work at The Edge? Does your love of German philosophers happen to have some sort of wonderful world-effecting use? Have you done anything this year worthy of note? I mean, since I am such a waste and since Candy needs to go out and experience the world, just what life experience credentials do you have? What gives you the answers? When did you become the messiah? Are you looking for martyrdom? Do you wish us to lay palm fronds before you as you ride into town on an ass? Should we worship you and your obviously great grasp of the world? Have you ever been to California? How about the other 49 states? Have you ever stopped a suicide? Have you ever had to deal with four roommates, seven pets, an evil landlord, and a 90 hour a week job all at the same time while still trying to have a life? These are simple questions on the life experience resume building software I'm working on. So, hey, go ahead and tell me, are you qualified to try to tell me, and Candy, and every single one of your worshipful readers, how we should better live our own individual lives?

4) Okay, on to a few other subjects. I'm sorry she so brutally shot down your feelings. I can't imagine her motivations. I mean, seriously, your definitely painting an interesting picture of the home life she'd have enjoyed. You seem to fit the definition of exactly what you say you despise. You're an ego-centric, pseudo-intellectual individual who seems to have an inferiority complex and a desperate desire to be something other than the rather normal and plain individual you are. I'm not saying I'm any better, save the word 'pseudo' and the word 'inferiority.' I have my faults, but I'm comfortable with them. I don't need to stand on a soapbox and spend all day spouting information just to try to prove I'm a genius. My IQ does that for me. Or did you not know? Oh, you must think I failed out of college b/c I was dumb. Quite erroneous on your part. By the way, your grammar is pretty terrible. English not your best subject? Your 1 german class messing with your head? I can see how that would happen. Funny though, I took two years of French and never had that problem. Strange. I must not have your propensity for languages. Je ne comprends pas! Oh well. C'est la vie. Hope you don't have to bust out a dictionary for that. Pretty basic. I failed out of college b/c I stopped going. When you're not in class to take the final, that happens. But, you wouldn't know about that. You take information and run with it, never bothering to research deeper. However, that doesn't stop you from making it into something, as we've seen, and as your own journals will prove, may it please the court. Regardless, your lack of comprehension of the subject not-withstanding, you do make a point or two. a) I have been acting somewhat childish, coming to the defense of a direct loved one who's reputation has been slightly marred around her hometown by some blithering idiot taking a personal disagreement and making it a public one, not naming names. b) I did go to a strip club. OH MY! Sentence me to hanging. I mean dear God, do you not ever make a mistake?

5)Katura: I owe you an apology. He's right. I've never met you. I can't very well judge your looks. You're obviously at least mildly attractive. Back to my favorite non-deceased philosopher: Yes, I should never have called her a sow. Insensitive, yes. But not a sow. You fall into that category too. Daily I have sailors telling me how their g/fs dump them and cheat on them. Perfectly faithful sailors. They exist, ya know. The old knife works in our backs too. I have to hear it all the time. How I shouldn't trust Candy. I always say fuck them, but it nonetheless irritates me that these idiots keep bothering me about it. I don't want to hear it. I know the statistics. Regardless, I choose to trust her. That doesn't mean I want to hear about how dumb it is to trust her. You should've known better than to tell her that. That's an unnecessary comment for you to pass along. More to the point, you insulted me by doing so. I didn't mind you two hanging out. But, interfering in our relationship is an overstep of your bounds. If she came to you with a complaint, sure. But, she was happy. Why fuck with that? And furthermore, just who the fuck do you think you are? Since when can you make accusations and judgements based on such ideas as other people that you might know? 3, 4, even 10 situations? That's a far cry from the fucking 300,000 sailors, many of which are happily married. You idiots and your figures. Why don't you try not jumping to conclusions? That's a good place to start. But I forget that you're a paragon of thought and logic. Forgive me. I must be the idiot here.

6) Okay, I promise I'm almost done. This is the last item. Okay, we've all been a little mean. That's fine. I can deal with that. Few people have ever understood me, and I like it that way. It's a good filter. Here goes. You have the worst logic of anyone I've ever met. Worse than my mom who thinks logic is something you put on potatoes. You are grasping at vapors. At specters. You are reaching and trying to make something out of things that aren't there while ignoring something that is there. The simple truth. She asked a question. Here it is: When was this crush? When did it start and end? She stated that she didn't feel there was still one. She stated that she didn't want you to be uncomfortable. She stated it was curiosity. She stated what prompted it. She finished with a statement that she knew you didn't still have one. You (read: Jonathon) overreacted. You also never answered the question. Never definitively. At this point, none of us care anymore. You blew it up and caused all of this. You should know this. WE (read: Candy and I) had nothing to do with this. By NOTHING I mean NOTHING (i.e. vacuum, the lacking of anything). So, congratulations. I'm sure you have a neverending throng of worshippers who will take her place. I'm sure you're lucky to be able to throw people out like second-rate garbage. Good job. I SO want to be you.

Conclusion: We all have wasted enough of our time. These loose ends now tied, I wash my hands of this shit. Candy: I love you. I'm glad we've been able to handle this. You're an excellent fiance and I'm glad to be able to make you happy. It's what I love most. Jonathon: I'm sure you were a good friend at one point. These last few weeks haven't spoken much for you, but frankly, I'm sure you used to be great. Sad to see you fall. I really never had anything against you until you had something against me (which apparently was nothing at all, just my personality which you probably still don't get, but you hold the license to form opinions from thin air at a whim, so I'll just leave that alone.). Me: Well, I probably should not have gotten involved, and if everyone in Mtn. Home and Jonathon's literally dozens of fans don't like me anymore, tough shit. I don't care. I never really did. You can sit and tell yourselves otherwise, but it'd be a lot more fulfilling to just go to the Edge like all the smart folks. I couldn't sit by and let this bullshit attack on everything I care about (i.e. Candy) continue. Take that any way you want. I am tired of trying to translate. If I'm an asshole, fine. If you think I'm an idiot and a worthless piece of shit, fine. If you don't want to get to know me, your loss. Not mine. I've seen all I ever needed to see. So, we're all going to just go about our normal lives, sans Jon. And he can go about his without me, and I guess Candy, if that's her choice. I try not to speak for her. She's got a mind. I don't need to tell her what's in it. She knows better than me. Imagine that! An equal relationship. Speaking of those, Jon, how equal is yours? Who is this Shawn character. How comfy is that bed, I wonder? Hmmm. She seems to respect you oodles, don't you think? I don't ever worry about Candy doing that, just like she doesn't worry about me doing it. We respect each other too much. Strange. Now, if you respond to all this, be content to know you won't recieve one back. I'll read it, but I'm done talking. Ciao! (that's italian. Another one of those ex-fascist countries you seem to love so much.)